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Monday

by Sunia Won Gibbs

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about

As a Korean American adoptee I was reading and researching KAA stories in the midst of my own bio-family/history search. The following excerpt from a fellow KAA woman caught my attention:

"I couldn’t really relate to my physical body either. I would, since a young child, stand in front of the mirror and look myself deep in the eyes and ask, ‘Hello, who am I? Is there someone in there?’ until it became so intense that it transformed into fear, a sort of death anxiety, like when you watch a scary movie and it’s way too creepy."

There was such a deep longing to know who I was and where I came from. As I took that to the piano I had a spiritual experience, realizing my bio family was literally in every cell of my being. I wrote this song to my birth mom as a result.

lyrics

I feel you in me
More than a memory
Every cell, every thought, every feeling
Every glance

I want to know
Who you are
I keeping looking outside
But you’re so damn close

Why can’t I see you
Are you hiding
Staring in the mirror
Doesn’t make your body clear

Why did you leave me
All alone
Did you know I’d be searching
Trying to find my way home

Can you hear me
Do you care
Do you think about that baby
Do you ever wonder maybe

Was I crying
When you left
Every step, every heartbeat, every second
Every breath

On that Monday
Did you know
You’d walk away
Was it cold


What does your voice sound like
In the middle of the night
Would you say that it’s ok
Make the monsters go away

When your body leaves
In the middle of the night
Does this place feel colder
Will you look over your shoulder

credits

released May 11, 2023
Sunia on keys and vox
Mixed by Paul Gibbs

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